The average person falls in love 3 to 4 times in a lifetime. Did you know that? I didn’t! At least, not until I sat down to Google it. And, as it turns out, I’m a bit basic…
Number 1 (The Fairytale Love)
Doomed from the very start, Shakespearean may be a more accurate term than Fairytale.This romance was over before it ever truly began. It was such a slight blip on the radar screen, that unless you were one of my closest friends you’d never have noticed it even happened. I’d be tempted to chalk the whole experience up to raging teenage hormones if it weren’t for the fact that the impact of it lingered for years after we lost touch. Number 1 gave me more than a glimpse at what it was to love someone… He helped to turn that mirror inward, and enabled me to see myself as someone who could BE loved.
Number 2 (The Hard Love)
This love lasted a decade, and in its constant evolution, gave life to the highest highs and lowest lows relationships have to offer. At 21, he was my first real boyfriend. Things between us progressed quickly and yet so naturally that I can’t even recall the first, “I love you” or if it was in response to him saying it first, or I had initiated it myself. It took ten years and a failed marriage for me to learn that sometimes love isn’t enough. There’s a metaphor that compares a relationship to a dimmer switch. You can turn the light down so far that you can barely see it’s glow, and with a quick spin of your finger restore the room to brightness… but if you turn the switch so far down that it clicks off, no amount of spinning can bring that light back. After years of spinning, I finally had to face the reality that our love had gone dark.
Number 3 (The Lasting Love)
The final rose if you will. Vastly different from the other two, this one took years to build. As one of my best friends, not only did he witness first hand the demise of my marriage, he had a back stage pass to the worst of me. He’s literally carried me when I couldn’t walk ( from ankles sprains to food poisoning), tucked me in to bed when I’d had too much to drink, and followed me into a black ocean to ensure I wouldn’t drown while night swimming…and all this before we so much as shared our first kiss. Not only is this love different in the time it took to build, but in the time we both dedicate to keeping it safe. As marriage number 2 for both of us, we’ve learned appreciation for the small things is what gets a couple from one milestone to the next. For the first time in my life I never feel the need to ask myself, “what if ?”. I know I’m in the right place, and, most importantly, with the right person.
I know what you’re thinking….the average is 3-4, and I’ve claimed love 3 times before even reaching middle age. So, how do I know this is it for me? I don’t. Nobody does. What I can say with certainty is that I WANT it to be it…that I’ve never been happier, or more sure of my decision. I can say that I finally love someone who loves me the way I need to be loved.
The Zuf Truth 