Creep

Have you ever creeped your exes on social media? Come on.. who hasn’t!?

Try as I might to bury my head in the sand when it comes to past loves, every so often I’m hit with the urge to check in and see what they’ve made of themselves.

Win the lottery ? New relationship? New job? Gain weight? Lose weight? Shrink a few inches? SOMEBODY JUST TELL ME!!!!!

It’s amazing the story a few photos can ‘divulge’. Before you know it, you’re caught in the instinctual comparison of success phase. Is that a new car? How big is his house? Is his wife smarter than me? Prettier? Happier? No matter the outcome of the score sheet, there’s the  inevitable feeling of defeat. You know what I’m talking about… the moment you realize that for some reason, they still matter to you.

Maybe we forget why the relationship didn’t work, or maybe those reasons don’t seem as crucial as they once did, but for a minute  you allow yourself to fantasize.  Where would we be? What would our children have looked like? Just how much would the trajectory of my life be changed?  Those mysteries, however, must remain forever unsolved.

You welcome the come down at that point. Your brain registers the masochistic behaviour you’ve begun to engage in, and plants you firmly back in reality by flashing less than flattering scenes of your time together before your mind’s eye.  Truth is, it doesn’t matter if the reasons you parted ways no longer exist, they did back then.  Hindsight is many things, but it certainly isn’t romantic.

So … to  the high school boyfriends, the university mistakes, and the one that got away – see you next time.