I grew up with a large extended family that I feel so blessed to have. There is, however, one aspect of family life I felt I missed out on …grandparents. I didn’t get a chance to even meet my father’s parents. They never left Italy and my Nono passed away before I was born. My Nona followed suit not long after, before my first birthday. With the exception of a few photos, and my brother’s middle name, there isn’t much I have to remember them by.
My mother’s parents are a slightly different story. They were very much involved in my early years. Big, boisterous family gatherings were hosted at their tiny home. Bursting at the seams, it didn’t matter. As long as there was floor space, everyone wanted to be there. Unfortunately, those huge get-togethers were short lived. My Poppy passed away when I was only 3 and a year later, my Nana said her final goodbyes. My Poppy’s passing was the first time I truly faced mortality and I didn’t like it one bit. I had my face pressed into my mother’s arm during the funeral mass, desperately trying to contain my tears. How could he just be gone?
I don’t recall how my parents explained death to me… I’m not sure that they had to. One look at my broken hearted mother had already told me everything I needed to know on the subject. I have only a few memories of my mother’s parents. Their funerals are actually the most vivid memories I have of them. Despite that, I mourned them incessantly. When I was in my early 20’s, an elderly man walked past me while I stood at the foot of their graves, crying softly. He looked at the headstone and looked at me, connecting the dots silently. He smiled at my tear streaked face and said, “ I knew your grandparents. They were good people…but honey…they’ve been gone a long time!” I laughed and assured him I wasn’t crazy. I had just graduated from university that day and I was a bit caught up in a whirlwind of emotions. The sentiment I shared with him was true. I wasn’t crying because I was missing the people my grandparents were. I was crying because I knew I had missed out on having grandparents in my life. I saw the way all of my friend’s grandparents doted on them. Parents love you.. .but GRANDparents…they adore you. They believe you’re the best at EVERYTHING. No boyfriend or girlfriend is ever good enough for you. You can never have too much to eat. No toy or trinket is a waste of money. Failures are just minor set backs on the path to your sparkling future.
Of course, they’re more than just an endless source of support. Grandparents are the link to the lives our parents often fail to mention. They provide a rare glimpse at the relatable side of our parents. Mom isn’t going to voluntarily tell you about the time she got so drunk she passed out in a rose bush… but Grandpa will gladly recount how he had to carry her home.
Consider the definition of ‘grand’ for a moment:
1. a. Large and impressive in size or extent. b. Sweeping in ambition or conception.
2. a. Very pleasing; wonderful; splendid. b. Characterized by splendor or magnificence.
3. a. Having more importance than others. b. Having higher rank than others of the same category
For those of you fortunate enough to have known your grandparents, could their be any more perfect a definition? Grandparents are larger than life. The love they have for their grandchildren is unlike the love shared in any other relationship. Perhaps its value is amplified by the fact that time is of the essence. Grandparents know they need to pack an entire lifetimes worth of love and admiration into the time they’re given. In the few short years I had my grandparents, they left a mark on me that brings me happiness to this day.
Cherish the moments you have with them. Revel in the way you can do no wrong. See yourself through their eyes, and pray that one day you’ll grow up to be everything they knew you could be.
The Zuf Truth 