Month: July 2013

Having past the age where the end of the school year actually influences my daily routine, there are plenty of things I miss about the summer. Weekday trips to the beach, sleeping in until noon, biking to A&W for a rootbeer float……the list of sunshine and laziness goes on and on. Surprisingly enough, no activity is so fondly reminisced about as MY SUMMER JOB.

My name was pulled from a massive lottery of students vying to secure full time summer positions working for the city. So when April came along and I was told to report to the Parks Division, I was more than happy to buy myself my first pair of work boots.

What to follow was three straight summers of grass cutting, garbage changing, and bus shelter cleaning good times.  It was a far leap from any of my previous work experience but surprisingly enough, wearing jogging pants and old t-shirts every day actually suited me nicely. Between the months of April and August I had to endure some pretty disgusting situations. I wish I could say I could count on one hand the number of times my dad would bravely hose dog poop off my boots in the middle of the day! Yet, when I look back on it all I have to laugh. 

I miss the smelly dirty beat up truck my partner and I drove around in all day, the characters we would encounter at bus shelters… I even miss the smell of cigarettes in the morning… ok that’s a lie! As a non-smoker, I definitely could have lived without that part of the job!

What makes a summer job so great?

There are those specific things that made my summer job so great… like knowing where all the best buffets in the city were, eating DQ daily, and hiding out in arenas when the sun was too hot to handle.  I think the true reason I miss it so much is more than that. We’ve all had to put in some time doing things that won’t necessarily help further our careers or make us better people….and, as was the case with my summer job, they tend to lack glamour.

We love summer jobs because there’s always an end point in site. Our expectations are really nothing more than a paycheck. We’re there to save money – not usually for a mortgage or utilities, but for the things that we truly want – a new car, a trip to Europe. For the lucky kids like me whose parents funded my post-secondary education, my paychecks could go entirely to things I wanted.  New outfits, weekend trips, and plenty of nights out were easily financed by my earnings.

Summer jobs represent freedom, a future, and a road not quite yet paved.  So, young summer students…embrace the sun, the fun, and YES even the dog poop!

Time heals all wounds… a lie we tell others as words of comfort when we’ve witnessed their pain and have no light to offer.

Time heals some wounds yes. The pain fades as life endures… but ask yourself, “why do they fade?”. It’s only when we’ve encountered far worse wounds… Wounds that make the others seem so trivial that the marks they once left become a distant memory, a punch line in a joke among friends, a wistful thought of simpler times. The wounds that time can’t heal are the problem. They leave their scars so raw, so real, that you’re sure the slightest touch will reopen them. I live each day fearing that some of my scars may never fade until the day I’m asking to endure more… and knowing that I can’t.

First dates are terribly awkward… or so I’ve been told. It’s been many years since I’ve ventured out on one. A girlfriend of mine, who has been flying solo the last few years, has had the opportunity to experience many first dates during that time. One of her biggest concerns is running out of things to discuss before the date is over. So while in the past I’ve laughed this fear off and casually dismissed it as silly, today I’ve realized why I’ve never experienced that kind of anxiety first hand. I may not have had a first date in ages but I approach all new relationships the same way I did when I was still on the market. My intent is to learn as much as possible about the person within the first few hours and then if a friendship is desirable, I’ll do my best to dazzle! In an attempt to ease first date jitters for those of you out there still experiencing them, here are my Top 5 go to questions to learn as much as you can and keep the conversation going (assuming you still want it to after you hear their answers!).
1) What is your favorite movie?
A favorite movie usually details one of three things – a situation they’ve lived through, their biggest fear, or their greatest hope. For instance my favorite movie all through high school was My Best Friend’s Wedding, completely exposing the fact that my biggest fear during that time in my life was realizing too late that I was in love with someone and watching them slip away.
2) What is your all-time favorite song?
Make sure you specify ALL-TIME favorite song. A favorite song “at the moment” doesn’t count…. it doesn’t hold any real weight. A true favorite song is one that defines the person in a way they’re not capable of doing with their own words. My favorite song is Tom Petty’s, “Walls”. I want to hear it when I’m happy. I want to hear it when I’m sad….and if you ever listen to it, you’ll get a sense of who I am.
3) What were you like in high school?
Initially you may think this doesn’t matter, but trust me – it does. It’s not who they were that’s the important part of the answer. The test is seeing if they’ve gotten past it. If they claim they were popular and seem proud of it- you’ve landed yourself someone who probably peaked in high school. If they use words like “athlete”, “musician”, “partier” and avoid social standing altogether, odds are they aren’t really proud of who they were back then. If they admit they were a bit of a “nerd” – you’ve just boarded the awesome train.
4) Have you read any good books lately?
 Yes, ask this question even if YOU haven’t read any good books lately. If their short answer is “no”, not to worry! Not everyone enjoys reading and the question will likely prompt them to describe numerous activities they participate in that prevent them from finding time to read. If the answer, however, is “yes”, then get ready for some eye opening material.
5) Are you a cat person or a dog person?
Cliché? Maybe. Important? Hells yes!!! Cat lovers and dog lovers don’t mix. Don’t be fooled by those claiming to be on the fence. Those people don’t exist. Date over.

Can men and women be friends? Despite the fact that growing up I  surrounded myself with a faithful group of girlfriends who managed to keep my sanity in tact through both grade school and high school, I’ve always actually considered myself more of a “guy’s girl”. I much prefer the typical male method of conflict resolution, ie. drop the F bomb, throw a punch and then never mention the incident again to the classic female way of dealing with aggression. In my vast experience dealing with argument after argument among my girls, I’ve seen it all. Stolen boyfriends, copied outfits,weight criticisms…YOU NAME IT… with all such offenses leading to a public flogging followed by days, months, or even years of the silent treatment.

Armed with this knowledge as I forged friendships throughout university and young adulthood, my method of selecting comrades focused not necessarily on gender, but on that ” easy breezy ” attitude I wanted to surround myself with. As a direct result, many of my closest friends are in fact men.  Are they truly friends?  Many would say they are either a) men who at some point wanted to hook up with me or b) men who at some point I wanted to hook up with.

I have friends who flat out refuse to hang out with members of the opposite sex when they’re in relationships, claiming that those friendships are detrimental to the health of their romance.  On the opposite end of the spectrum lies those who, like myself,  are adamant that their significant other not be able to impede on any friendship, especially those established prior to the relationship.

I can only speak for myself when I say that I would NEVER date any of my male friends. They’re my friends. Can you appreciate the magnitude of that statement? That means I’ve seen them at their absolute worst; their drunkest, their loudest, their most obnoxious…. and to top it all off, I’ve witnessed their past relationships. Even if I could overlook all that, I  know what they know about ME and there’s NO getting past that!

So… back to the question, can men and women be friends? From where I’m standing…. it’s a yes.  The men in my life have been privy to my drunken stupors, my heavy use of sarcasm, and yes all the love they can possibly handle from me. Not exactly the stuff dreams are made of!

For most Monday to Friday, nine to fivers (like myself), the most dreaded day of the week is Monday. Oh the hatred we all feel for poor Monday! I’m willing to bet if you were to really think of it, Mondays are actually not that bad. Most long weekends give us the Monday off PLUS Mondays at work are often spent in the leftover haze from the weekend, resulting in proven poor productivity and longer lunch breaks than any other day of the week!  So let’s stop hating on Mondays for a bit. Tuesdays, however, TUESDAYS are the devil incarnate.

Every spilled coffee, ripped pantyhose, evil management email and all round bad day have more often than not been courtesy of Tuesday. If those little items weren’t already detrimental enough, Tuesdays carry the expectancy of performing to full potential. There’s no longer the, ” Sorry, it’s Monday!” excuse that so often gets me through day 1 of 5. My Tuesdays typically end with a furious drive home, a half ass attempt at online job hunting, and a few lemon drop martinis . End result? What my friends have affectionately coined, “Tipsy Tuesday”.   Cheers!